identity | the artist way week 2 field notes
recovering a sense of identity
Chapter 2 of the artist way is about identity. Bitch, I've been identity shifting for the last three years. What you know about it.
with a sense of safety locked in, you’re able to start unearthing your sense of identity.
identity is the inner self resurfacing… once you stop abandoning her.
open essaythe artist way: identity ✿ pt 2 field notesthe artist way vlog: identity | pt 2 ✿ creative healing video diary
⋆ ⋆˙⊹ identity loading ⊹˙⋆ ⋆
opening file
what if it was just the people, places, panic, and performance around me that made me forget?
inner parts
i was given permission to explore inner parts of myself that i had stopped listening to long ago... like my inner artist and inner child… the lil’ artist internet girl who just wanted to code broken Neopets pet page layouts all day. enter: internal family systems.
field note girl notices the mushrooms.
my inner child takes their photo.
are we safe? can we relax? can we play?
cries and blames myself, shames myself.
that girl was awesome, why have I been ignoring her?!?!
water and crafts is all a spirituality siren art hoe needs~
imaginary lives are inner parts
fallback_link.urlopen essayimaginary_lives_are_inner_parts.substack
dinner table note
the way she described it to me is I have many parts of my self, and they’re all sitting at the dinner table with me.
field note explorer secret clubhouse inner child girl inner self is surfacing.
mushroom energy
identity wasn’t missing. it was underground, waiting for better weather
mushroom_energy.pngaudio field note
fallback_link.urlopen audio field noteunderground file
the very first thing I remember noticing in week 2? monday daytime walk: bam. mushroom ring. and then suddenly? mushrooms everywhere, all week.
I was fully enamored by the romance of stumbling on none of these shrooms just days ago, walking the same spots… as they were hiding underground!
seeing the mushrooms made me soooo happy like real life whimsy just manifesting in real time.
no forced “new me who dis,” announcement needed. just a return to mindfulness, a return to my innermost parts.
identity can emerge as multiple different inner parts, when the body stops using all its capacity just to survive the day.
synchronicity questions
- what keeps appearing in my life like a tiny symbol?
- what does emergence look like when it is small, quiet, and real?
- what wants to emerge now that the ground is safer?
yellow keeps finding me
welcome to my highlighter theory.
highlighter_theory.pnggolden yellows, creams, off-whites, and the color of butter have all been following me around this week.
pastel signals of the universe waving their hands at me, encouraging me to keep going.
butter yellow and natural creams feels like stability and safety to me.
brighter yellows feel whimsical, like the sun on a summer day...
my highlighter theory ::
synchronicity moments are where the universe is reaching out it’s invisible helping hands and highlighting the important thing for you to notice… like an highlighter marker, annotating right on your life for you, to make you pay attention.
it made me realize synchronicities don’t exist to only give me full on answers. they often simply exist just to get my attention.
sometimes the thing being highlighted is an opportunity, or a relationship, or grief, or joy, or proof of growth. sometimes it’s proof i’m simply paying attention again. a small little pat on the back, good girl.
any signs of growth and change have me immediately feeling a type of way. i’m paying so much attention to small, unserious things in life lately.
for me lately? it’s been the color yellow. yellow flowers, yellowish mushrooms, yellow accents sprinkled all throughout my life lately in surprising ways.
but for you? it becomes a philosophy you can borrow:
Highlighter Theory is the idea that life has a way of repeatedly drawing your attention to what you're ready to notice life naturally highlighting for you. realize that the repetition is the message.
realization
being liked is not the same as being seen
a very rude identity lesson
my brain kept telling me i had to hold the weight of looking sane, and put together, and intelligent, and professional, and happy, and smiling, and bubbly, and calm and reflective, and gentle… constantly over functioning to be liked and accepted and welcomed and heard and seen.
but it took looking at the mushrooms for me to realize i’m not. i’m not seen. people only see themselves.
instead, i was just a mirror.
being liked because i’m resourceful isn’t the same thing as being really, truly seen and witnessed.
who am I when I stop trying to just be easy to love?
click to toggle
sometimes “being understanding” to a fault is just self-erasure in disguise.
i am meant to be more than a doormat, a pathological people pleaser, my entire life.
chapter tasks
recovering_a_sense_of_identity.audit
status card archive
task_01.txtstatus: ✗ skippedRead the Basic Principles every morning and night. Notice any shifts in your attitude or beliefs.
task_02.txtstatus: ✔ completedAudit where your time goes. Separate wants vs. shoulds, create a support circle, and identify who or what protects (or drains) your creative autonomy.
task_03.txtstatus: ✔ completedList 20 things you enjoy doing and note the last time you did each one.
task_04.txtstatus: ✔ completedChoose 2 favorite activities from that list you've been avoiding and do them this week in small pockets of time.
task_05.txtstatus: ✔ completedRevisit your Week 1 affirmations. Choose 3 that resonate most and write them 5 times each day in your Morning Pages.
task_06.txtstatus: ✔ completedReturn to your Imaginary Lives list. Add 5 more lives and find small ways to live pieces of them now.
task_07.txtstatus: ✔ completedCreate a Life Pie (spirituality, exercise, play, work, friends, romance/adventure, etc.) to see where your life feels balanced or neglected.task_08.txtstatus: ✗ skippedMake a list of 10 tiny changes you'd like to make for yourself.
task_10.txtstatus: ✔ completedDo it.field notes
identity fragments / tiny observations / week 02 artifacts
week 02 photo wall
on my morning walk
media journal notes
spirituality siren at it again
no quotes, just coffee
i would die for this birdtiny observations
what tiny symbols keep finding me lately?
what place, person, habit, or version of myself helps me remember who i am?
what wants to emerge now that the ground is safer?
