recovering a sense of safety | the artist way week 1 field notes
recovering a sense of safety
i’m coming back home to myself
this past week I moved out of my old apartment complex which marked the end of YEARS worth of “survival mode” instincts beginning to fade because my new home by the lake actually feels safe.
it feels like synchronicity that i get back to reading, writing, ritual, and journaling in a time in my life where my body is letting me genuinely feel things, and experience life again.
regulated journaling artist dopamine field notes nikki
week 1 desktop note
i feel peace more often than anything else lately and i’ve been sitting in it willfully, and with abandon, and joy.
less “i’m putting this mask on” for social media and more me just showing up exactly as i am right now, as me, honestly, unmasked, and authentic.
whimsy and boundaries can co-exist
field notes
regulated journaling artist dopamine field notes nikki
i do want to balance this “Regulated Journaling Artist Dopamine Field Notes Nikki” with… well…. a productive 9-5pm working self.
morning pages residue
- journaling down by the lake every day might be a non negotiable, mandatory ritual.
- this compassion is telling me i AM coming back home to myself.
- i feel peace more often than anything else lately and i’ve been sitting in it willfully, and with abandon, and joy.
- my body is letting me genuinely feel things, and experience life again.
creative safety note
right now i am leaning way too hard into “Not Working (on my business) At All” Nikki…. lol. i’m healed, yes yes yay.
let’s get to work now.
bring back whimsy
monster hall
I found myself working on the chapter tasks and creating my Monster Hall of Fame and naming several of my historical nemesis and vices while also acknowledging recent relational pain. names removed.
Not everything about healing is poetry and sunset skies... sometimes it's just overcoming chronic self-inflicted nervous system pain, friendship grief, and self-inflicted mental torture loops.
lake ritual
journaling down by the lake every day might be a non negotiable, mandatory ritual
so me starting The Artist Way journey again is coming at a divine time. it feels like synchronicity that i get back to reading, writing, ritual, and journaling.
my body is letting me genuinely feel things, and experience life again
ritual sequence
- journaling down by the lake every day
- back to reading, writing, ritual, and journaling
- my new home by the lake actually feels safe
- i feel peace more often than anything else lately
- i’m coming back home to myself
internet diary
the internet felt like a diary, not an attack
substack app might have truly changed my life this past week and a half or so. i don’t say that lightly???? my entire brain feels rewired.
saved from the soft web
i’m no longer seeing needlessly rude and emotionally unintelligent comments constantly like i did on facebook. instead i read poetry and diary entries.
browsing Substack has been a joy. I just scroll my for you feed and the creative magic simply finds me, effortlessly.
i re-disocvered an interest in indie personal mini zines. i used to obsess over them, fascinated, in a “I'll never do that” kinda way.
personal websites/internet girl diary rooms, forums, and webbies
permission slip
i love that someone else is facilitating it because holding everyone’s emotions and internalizing their lack of action weighed on me so hard and heavy last year.
i get to participate instead of educate
tiny proofs
proof i survived
Substack inspired me to create my first one in two days. imperfect as hell but you know what I did learn? How to do it better next time.
small evidence
when did art become so optimized? everyone picks up a hobby and immediately wants to monetize it. the art and romance of being creative is dying.
side quests, hobbies, creating, blogging, writing.
bring back whimsy
links
Substack inspo and memory fragment/essay link drop dump.